Does Lust Discriminate?

Most of the material I’ve read so far seems to assume that lust is a problem that is eating men alive. But what about the ladies? Do women struggle with lust too or is it a male-dominated issue?

Any ladies out there want to comment?

Comments

  1. Well, do you mean women struggling with lust of the flesh as men do? I have not known that to be much of a problem at all from what I’ve read and had women tell me and my wife in our mentoring of them. Now if you mean lust for something material (clothes, home, etc.) or some personal trait (could be physical actually…most often is) then I suppose so.

    I know women who long for companionship from a man but I’ve never known it to be lust really.

    Interesting question. Curious what others might say. Were my 19 month old daughter not lusting for my attention in her new kiddie kitchen (she’s making stew best I can tell) I might be able to elaborate on this more.

  2. Based on the looks I get when I’m struttin’ my stuff…I’d say it’s an issue! You know, I’m not just a pretty face.

  3. I think lust can be a problem for women if their need for affection is not met. Does that make sense?

  4. What Rob said matches my experience, too. I do a lot of counseling triage – I’m not counselor by any means, but I do pastor a church within a church. We have over 100 marriages represented in the Worship Arts Ministry at my church, and so I get a lot of the “first calls”, and then I send them to someone who can truly help them.

    With most men, it’s lust after physical attraction and physical affection.

    With most women, it’s “lust” after attention, proximity, emotional openness, and communication.

    I once had a female volunteer remove herself from the ministry I lead because of here attraction to me. It was nothing physical (I’m no Brad Pitt), but had everything to do with my communication to the entire ministry through weekly emails and monthly e-newsletters. As it turns out, I was sharing more of my heart (in ministry terms only) than her husband ever had with her, and it made m attractive to her.

    Who would’ve thought that newsletters and emails about the things of worship ministry would ever be skewed in such a way?

  5. I apologize for my spelling errors.

  6. Is it too simplisic/”not harsh enough” to understand the teaching of Jesus–“If you mentally have sex with some gal, you’ve broken the covenant you made with your wife.” (Sometimes we confuse look with lust and feel guilty for acknowledging physical beauty.) On a related point, accountability to my wife is a big help–she has the right to say, “I am not comfortable with you counseling the woman” In some cases, I have told her, “Under no circumstances do I want to be alone in ANY setting with ______” No questions asked or discussion needed. I know the BEGINNING point of being strong is ACKNOWLEDGING the presence of weakness.

  7. i’m a little late in writing this…but i just think it is humorous that five of the previous comments are from dudes

    and one from a girl. yes, this is funny to me.

    and i have no clue as to the answer to your question

  8. Dave–I thought that was funny as well. So did my wife!

  9. Yep, lust is an issue for women too. And I’m not a dude.

  10. While women may be turned on by a smile and a wit instead of sexy clothing … or lack there of … they can still be turned on. I miss sex … there … I said it.

  11. When women lust for men, it is not just satisfaction, but an emotional and intellectual lust. Given that … one could make the argument that lust is an even bigger problem … or a bigger betrayal … with women than men.

  12. Oh, I don’t know about being a bigger problem. I would contend that both are habits that can lead to HUGE betrayal.

  13. Absolutely! I am a woman in my early 30’s and I struggle with lust in a level probably comparable to any man. I have a strong sex drive so maybe that is the issue. With me is not so much an emotional matter either, just pure physical attraction.

  14. As a divorced woman nearing 40, yeah. I’d say so. It’s pretty challenging to date, and yet remain chaste, when you’re “hormonally awake” and craving the attention you used to get when you were married.

    What can you do? I’ve decided to take a dating sabbatical for a while, and keep a safe distance from temptation.

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