The Test

It had been a long, hard night for Abraham. His restlessness wouldn't let him sleep, and he couldn't tell anyone else about his problem. All he could do was stare at the ceiling, his eyes wide open.

In the quiet of the night, every noise in the camp was magnified. The wind blown edges of the tent seemed to explode rather than flap. Outside, the snorting of the camels, a sound Abraham had heard so often that he had stopped hearing it altogether, was unbearable. His head began to throb. Next to him, his precious wife Sarah slept, oblivious to her husband's despair. Abraham envied her bliss. Had she known what he knew, had she heard what he had heard, she too would be wide-awake, and restlessly tossing and turning in her bed alone, after banishing her husband outside to sleep with the camels for even considering obeying the Voice.

As Abraham replayed in his mind the words the Voice had spoken to him just several hours earlier, he realized how ridiculous they sounded. Had he heard correctly? Had the voice actually said, "Abraham, take your son--you know the one--the son of the promise--your only son, Isaac--take him to the mountain and kill him. Offer him to me as a sacrifice."

This wasn't the first time Abraham had heard the Voice. In the past, the Voice had asked him to do some terribly difficult things--like leaving his homeland and going to a place he had never even seen or sending his other son, Ishmael, into exile in the desert with his mother, Hagar. Those things had been hard, but this new command from the Voice was downright cruel. When Isaac was finally born, Abraham thought it was over. His task was finished. The son of the promise had come and now he could take over the blessing that had already taken its toll on Abraham and his family.

Now this. The more Abraham thought about it, the more unbearable the burden became. Finally, Abraham broke the silence with a whispered question of desperation. "God, why won't you just leave me alone? Why does it always have to be me?" Even as he asked the question, he knew the answer. Being chosen by God to deliver a blessing to the world carried with it a high price. Not to mention the fact that Abraham's track record had been less than spectacular.

So far, the Father of Faith had gotten only mixed reviews. Sure, he had his share of victories. He had been willing to break camp and follow God to the unseen land, and he had boldly interceded in vain for Sodom and Gommorah when he found out that the Voice was going to destroy them as punishment for their rebellion. And of course, there was the time when the Voice told Abraham he was going to have a son, and the old man believed it right then and there, prompting the Voice to call him "righteous."

Unfortunately, every victory was offset by a defeat. Twice Abraham, when he was afraid for his life, had lied about his relationship with Sarah, destroying his credibility with world leaders like Pharoah and Abimelech. And then, instead of waiting on the Voice to keep his promise about the son, he gave in to Sarah, took matters into his own hands, fathered a child with her servant Hagar, and made a huge mess of his family. Perhaps his worst offense was to laugh in disbelief when the Voice told him it would be his aged wife Sarah who would give birth to the son they had been anticipating for almost twenty-five years.

Abraham knew that the peaks and valleys of his life made it painfully obvious that he was far from perfect. He was just another man. The real star of the show was the Voice. He had stood by his chosen one during both the good and the bad days. Abraham's mind was flooded with the memories of the painful lessons he had learned from his failures. He also remembered how the Voice had remained faithful to him over the years. It was the thought of the Voice's faithfulness that made the wrinkles on his forehead soften. He realized that every time he had chosen not to trust the Voice, it had brought him pain. Yet, despite all of his failures, the Voice had always provided a way for his promises to be fulfilled.

As Abraham looked up into the darkness, a wild thought entered his mind. He whispered it tentatively, "He will provide." He said it again to make sure it sounded right, "He will provide."

At that moment, he knew what he had to do. The Voice had said that He was going to bless the world through Isaac. Abraham believed him. Even if He had to raise him from the dead to get it done, Abraham believed he would do it. Because unlike Abraham, the Voice's track record was spotless. The Voice always kept his promises.

Abraham rolled over. It would be dawn soon. He knew there was no way he going to get any sleep, and there was much to get ready. He also wanted to get out of there before Sarah awoke and he had to tell her what he planned to do Isaac. So he went and woke up a couple of servants to help him get ready for the trip. Then he woke up Isaac. While everyone else was still asleep, they set out on the journey that would change them both.

If it had been a short trip to the mountain it would have been easier for Abraham. He wanted to get it over with. Instead, the journey took three days. That left plenty of room for doubt. The only thing moving him forward was the three words he kept chanting like a mantra, "He will provide, He will provide, He will provide."

When they finally arrived at the foot of the mountain, Abraham and Isaac left the servants behind and walked on alone. Abraham carried the fire and the knife. Isaac carried the wood upon which he would die. As they walked, Isaac asked the question Abraham had been dreading. "Hey Dad, you've got the fire and the knife, and I've got the wood. But where is the animal?"

Abraham fell back on the only words that gave him comfort at the moment. "Don't worry son. The Voice will provide the animal."

After several hours of hiking, they stopped and began making preparations for the altar. It didn't take Isaac long to put the pieces of the puzzle together and realize why there was no animal. He was determined to face his fate like a man. He refused to whimper and whine the way his older brother had when his dad kicked him out of the house.

Isaac grew up hearing the story from his father's servants. They would laugh and mock Ishmael with falsetto voices and plaintive sobs. Isaac wanted to make sure the stories the servants told about him would celebrate his bravery. "I will die with honor," he told himself.

Abraham couldn't bring himself to say the words. He motioned with his eyes to Isaac. His compliance broke his father's heart. Isaac's eyes were stone-gray, as if this final act of obedience had drained away their color. Abraham sighed in relief when it was obvious there would be no struggle. He knew he couldn't go through with it if his son had put up even the slightest bit of resistance.

Once Isaac was in place, Abraham pulled his knife from its scabbard and held it in his hand. At his age, Abraham's hands always trembled. Today, the shaking was so violent, he was forced to involve his other trembling hand to steady the knife. Isaac closed his eyes tightly. Abraham wished he could do the same. Under his breath he said those three magic words one more time, "He--will--provide." He tried to calm himself with a deep breath, knowing he was about to put the Voice to the ultimate test.

Suddenly a voice from above shouted the words Abraham had been waiting to hear. "Abraham-stop--cut him loose--you passed the test." Abraham looked up and he saw a ram caught in a nearby bush. He smiled. Once again, the Voice had come through.

On the way home, Abraham knew things would now be different. It was over for him. Now it was Isaac's turn to carry the burden. In a way that seemed appropriate, for there was a distance between them that hadn't been there before. That was the cost of the blessing. Abraham understood that the image of his father holding a knife over him would be burned into his son's psyche forever. Even so, Abraham couldn't stop smiling. He had passed the test. The Voice had provided. The promise would live on. Now the only thing he had to worry about was telling Sarah what he had nearly done. He began to think up a story that might keep him out of trouble. Then he smiled and thought, "Maybe the Voice will provide for me a way out of this one too."

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Copyright ©2002 by Wade Hodges, All Rights Reserved