The Press Conference

There were ten chairs in the celestial pressroom. They were grouped into two rows of five. The podium was front and center. Angels slowly began to arrive and fill the chairs. As they visited with one another, they realized no one knew the reason they had been called there. Several minutes later the side door to the pressroom opened and in walked the Word. His face was serious and his gait deliberate. Wasting no time, he stepped up to the podium and began to speak as if he had somewhere else to be.

"As many of you know, the Father has been working on a plan for dealing with the rebels on earth for some time now. Several of you have even had the privilege of delivering bits and pieces of the plan to his prophets on earth. Though you've tried, you've never been able to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Well, it's time to reveal to you what the Father has in mind. Listen closely. Effective immediately, I am resigning my position here in heaven."

A rumbling among the angels filled the pressroom.

The Word continued, "I will be going down to earth as a human to be their King, and hopefully turn the rebels back to the Father."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth the room was filled with questions. The Word sighed, thankful that he had called only ten angels to the press conference. He could have called ten thousand angels, but now was glad he hadn't. With the movement of a hand he silenced the outburst and started taking questions, one at a time.

An angel raised his hand, "Lord you said your were going to go down there as a human, what age will you be when you arrive?"

The Word answered, "In order to fully experience the human condition I want to go through an entire life cycle."

"Does that mean you will be born a natural birth?" An angel asked.

"Yes."

Whenever three or more are gathered, a critic is always there among them. And this group was no different. The critic stood up and said, "Now wait a minute. Are you telling us that you're going to leave heaven and go down there and be born like every other person? What in the world for? I was watching somebody be born the other day and it was all goopy and gross."

The Word said, "I know. Have a seat. Next question."

Another angel raised his hand, "Lord, who will your parents be?"

As Gabriel-the only angel who had already been told about the plan-passed out copies of a press release summarizing the pertinent details of his soon-to-be family history, the Word said, "My mother will be a young lady named Mary, she's engaged to a young carpenter named Joseph. He will appear to be my father. Mary has already been briefed about her role in the plan. Joseph will find out soon enough. We expect he'll resist initially, but we're confident he'll eventually come on board."

The critic spoke up again, "Lord, are you sure about this? Wouldn't it be better to be born into a more prominent, established family? This Mary and Joseph sound like a couple of kids. Not to mention that it says here that there are some pretty questionable characters in Joseph's genealogy. First, there's Jacob, the deceiver. I hate to bring it up again, but you remember the stir it caused around here when the Father chose to carry the promise on through him. Are you sure you want your name to be forever linked with his? Then there is Perez. His mother was Tamar. She fooled her father in law, Judah, into sleeping with him so that she could get pregnant. Then further on down there is Rahab the prostitute. Could you have a picked a more gnarled and twisted family tree?"

The criticism was building momentum. Another angel chimed in, "Lord, what about the circumstances of this whole birth thing? What will people think when this unmarried 'virgin' turns up pregnant?"

The critic popped up from his chair, "I'll tell you what they will think. They'll think you're a, a, a bas…" He lowered his voice to a whisper. "They'll think you're a 'you know what,'"-he still couldn't say it-"born out of a family of misfits! Are you ready to have people say that about you? Not to mention saying it about your parents?"

The Word said, "I am. Sit down. Next question."

Another angel raised his hand, "Lord, where will you be born?"

"Bethlehem."

The surprised critic complained, "There's no palace in Bethlehem."

The Word said, "I know. It's not going to happen in a palace, but rather in a cave where animals are kept on the outskirts of town. My parents will be traveling and there will no other place to stay."

Again the critic stood, "Now Lord, it's one thing for you to tell us that you are going to be born in this little do-nothing of a town by the side of the road. But is it entirely necessary to be born in a cave full of animals and their excrement? Could you have picked a more filthy, stinking, wretched, place to be born? I guess the next thing you will tell us is that you're going to sleep in a feed trough?"

"As a matter of fact, I am" the Word said. "Take your seat. Next question."

Another angel raised his hand, "Lord, are you going to be making any kind of formal announcement on your birthday?"

"Yes. In fact, I was hoping one of you could take care of that for me."

Surprisingly, it was the critic who volunteered. "I'll be happy to do it. Maybe if I spin it just right, and put on a good enough show, people will overlook the more embarrassing elements of this plan. You would be surprised how much garbage people will accept if you wrap it in an entertaining package. I can see it now. Bright lights, loud music, a huge choir! So, who is my audience going to be? King Herod? The Sanhedrin? Caesar and his cronies?"

The Word said, "Actually, I was thinking of the shepherds just outside of Bethlehem. "

The critic erupted, "I should have known. Those on the lowest rung of the ladder are the first ones you want to tell. That makes just about as much sense as the rest of this plan. And what should I tell them? That the Savior of the world has been born to an unwed mother, and that he is in a musty cave in Bethlehem, and that if they can make their way past the stink and the straw, they will find you there, nestled in a manger coated with hardened calf slobber?"

"That about sums it up. Next question."

Another hand shot up. "Lord, you said you were going down there to turn the rebels around. How will you do it?"
The Word shook his head. "I can't tell you that. Top secret. We want it to be a surprise for everyone, especially the enemy."

The critic spoke up once again. This time with a tone of resignation in his voice indicating he knew there was nothing he could do to talk his boss out of the plan. "Probably just as well. I can't imagine that anyone down there is going to be thrilled to call you 'King,' especially when all this stuff goes public. If you think I'm a hard sell, wait until they hear about it. Do you really think they will listen to you?"

The Word gave the critic a mischievous smile. "Most won't, but some will. All I need is a few."

Before another question could be asked, he gave them a goodbye nod, turned, walked out of the room, and stepped out of heaven.

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