The Hardest Thing You Will Ever Do

One of the questions I’m occasionally asked is, “How is starting a new church different from trying to turn around an established one?”

The short answer is that it’s different in every way imaginable.

In the next several posts, I’ll explain why.

Every time I start writing something like this I worry that some of my friends in established churches will think I’m throwing rocks at their churches or thumbing my nose at them because they’re working in an established context. This is never my intent.

It’s so easy to create an either/or between the two. I’ve had people in established churches question the entire enterprise of church planting. Such a great conversation starter with someone who has just swallowed hard and stepped out in faith to give it a go. I’ve also heard church planters talk about established churches like they were shacks condemned by the city. These same planters seem to have a hard time raising support from established churches. Imagine that.

I worked with established churches for 12 years. One was a small congregation in the Northwest whose growth had been hampered by past conflicts. The other was a larger church whose perceived “better days” were behind it when I arrived. In each case, I was asked by the leadership to help the church find its missional groove.

I struggled in both contexts. Not because there was something inherently wrong with either church, but because I lacked the temperament to flourish in those settings. So I have absolute respect and admiration for those pastors who are able to not only survive, but thrive in their work with established churches. Their job is stinking hard and so many of them do it with a kind of patience and grace that escapes me.

One of the things that is common at church planting conferences like Exponential, which is happening in Orlando, Florida even as I type this, is that speaker after speaker will stand up and tell potential church planters that planting a church “is the hardest thing you will ever do.” It’s meant to be a scare tactic that will weed out those who shouldn’t do it. This assertion is true in so many ways. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I started struggling with lower back pain after only a couple of months on the job here in Austin. However, doing the hard work of pastoring a church over the long haul is also “the hardest thing you will ever do,” just in a different way.

To church planters who’ve used the “hardest thing you’ll ever do” line on me I’ve wanted to say in response, “Try preaching at my last church for six years and then get back to me.” (It’s a joke Garnetters! But let’s not kid ourselves, those six years were hard on all of us. I gave as good as I got. Or maybe you were giving as good as you got. Hmmm.)

Launching a new church doesn’t mean I’ve given up on established ones, but rather it’s my attempt to be true to a calling I struggled against for over a decade. To all my friends in my former church I say, “It’s wasn’t you, it was me!” I think I have a personality designed to be perpetually frustrated in established churches while also being a perpetual source of frustration to many people in them. As I talk about some of the ways church planting is different than my old way of life, I think this point will become clear like crystal.

Before I talk about the differences between the two, let me start with these similarities. Both are good. Both are necessary. Both are hard. Neither is for the faint of heart.

At some point, both will require the use of an ice pack.

Comments

  1. Brother, this is a great post! It’s both honest and gracious at the same time, which is such a difficult balance.

    I’m glad you guys are planting. It would be the toughest thing in the world for me now, I think. On the other hand, I really do like working in churches with some road behind them, even as some of my colleagues find the same context exasperating.

  2. Thanks Wade for this article.

    “The hardest thing you will ever do” has been pushed upon me for the past 8 months now, but I when I think about my previous ten (and specifically six) years of ministry, it was also the hardest thing I would ever do… just in a different way. You summed it up well, and I appreciate that.

  3. Great post, Wade. I think the hardest thing to do is probably to serve in a place that’s toxic for you and perhaps…you for them. Church planting is enormously hard. Common sense, basic ministry theory and the testimony of trusted friends who have done it. Serving in established churches has some benefits…but, as you know…can work you over something fierce. Both are needed. Both are tough. Both, as you say, require ice packs.

    It seems to me there are two or three different kinds of “hard.” One is labor “hard.” One is emotional/psychological “hard. Three is “both hard.”

  4. Hey guys–thanks for the comments of encouragement.

    Tim–did you type that comment on your new ipad? Is there an emoticon for jealousy?

  5. I’m glad as well to read this post. It would be so easy to b completely critical of established churches in my situation. I’m really tired of the whole “churchianity” thing, but I also understand that it is the church where my passion was birthed.

    I really don’t see myself as a church planter. I see it as a totally new way of approaching evangelism. To teach people where they are and help them find Jesus without the pressure of getting them into “church” is a freeing proposition. I’m excited to see where God will take us next.

    I look forward to this series of posts.

  6. Frustrated says:

    Let me just say, I resonate with your comment, “I think I have a personality designed to be perpetually frustrated”. I currently serve church as an elder and since last summer, I have struggled with not only staying in the position, but in the church. I have come to the conclusion that I would not return to the position next year and then started waffling. There are days that I don’t feel it’s worth it and then days that I enjoy what I do and can see myself staying for the long haul. As frustrating as the Church can be, I am drawn to helping it be all it can be for Christ. So I think that like you I just have a personality that’s prone to frustration and I just need to deal with it and not necessarily take that as a sign that I need to leave. It’s kinda like family. They may not have done anything to deserve being disowned, so you hang in there with them because of love and/or obligation.

  7. Frustrated: I appreciate your honesty. What an awesome thing to hear an elder admit he just gets frustrated. Pray and fast over your decision. God will show you the way.

    It’s not the people in the church that is the problem. People are people wherever you go. It’s the system that we are stuck in that is the problem. You as an elder, I believe, have the place and ministry to help us understand that the system is flawed. Maybe God has put you in the church where you are to help with that process of understanding.

    I pray for you that God will give you wisdom in your future decisions.

  8. I have been in ministry as a minister for close to 40 years. Am I ever frustrated ? Close to all the time. Discouraged ? Constantly. But then you see the growth of an individual. Another is born again . Many good things happen. Have I ever wanted to resign or move to another place , etc.? Very often. That is when I know our adversary is working hard and I refuse to allow him any victory. We have to run the race with perserverance. It really is not up to us, it is the church of Christ. It is His church. He is building it through flawed very human beings that are trying to be spiritual but struggle with sin and Satan. We keep on praying, teaching and loving people. We must remain steadfast and immovable always abounding in the work. We never stop being His disciples and we never abandon the church , His body.

  9. Keith Davis says:

    Interesting Ray. I don’t think I’ve abandoned the church. Quite the contrary. I’ve abandoned a system. We have become so atrophied in the church that we’ve forgotten that it’s the sick who need the doctor. Not the well.

    Leave the church? If you mean by that the denomination “church of Christ,” I’m trying to leave that. If you mean leave the body of Christ that Jesus built, I can’t leave that. I am that. So are you. We just serve Jesus’ body in different ways and in different places.

    God bless you for your perseverance. He will bless you if that is His will for your life. Certainly there is a place for those who are seeking to serve the brothers.

  10. Keith, Frustrated, and Ray–thanks for sharing your hearts.

    It helps me to think about the church as the result of Kingdom activity. If I pursue church, I may end up missing out on the Kingdom, but if I seek the Kingdom first, church will pretty much take care of itself.

  11. Keith ,
    I am only responding because you did to me. And thanks for your commnets. I never got the impression that you were going to abandon the church. It was ageneral statement. However , I do not understand what you mean by a system and that the church has atrophied. I know the church is not perfect. But every church I have served has gone way beyond the walls of a building and is helping people. Everyday , all over the world the cups of cold water given in His name cannot even be counted. Compassion is being expressed on a daily basis. Have we arrived? By no means. Do we still need much improvment ? Always. But I do not understand atrophied.

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