Well, my little boy started kindergarten today. He was born just yesterday. I swear he was. Now he’s in school, spending a large chunk of his day away from his mother. I’m not sure how he’s doing right now, but his mom’s doing ok, but only as long as she doesn’t think about him. I’ve been spending a large chunk of my day away from the boys for years now and so his absence isn’t what’s bothering me today. It’s that this is the first major milestone in his life. There will be many others and today I’m realizing that they’re coming sooner than I’d like.

I remember the look my dad had on his face on my wedding day, especially when I took my place up at the front of the church with my groomsmen. I had never seen him look that way before. Today I understand a bit better where that look came from. If felt it crawl onto my face for just a few seconds when Caleb walked out the door with his mother. I know it’s coming back someday.

I’ve found myself thinking about my first day of school so many years ago. I remember certain details about that day like it was yesterday and I wonder. . . I wonder if this morning Caleb felt like I did when I walked into a roomful of strange kids for the first time. I wonder how he’ll respond when he’s made fun of and how long it will take him to make fun of someone else. I wonder if he’ll be a leader or a follower. I wonder what he’s doing right now and if he’s having fun doing it.

This morning I stayed at the house with Elijah while Heather took his older brother to school. As soon as the door shut behind them, Elijah put a so-serious-it-looks-silly kind of look on his face and said, “Ok, daddy, are you ready to have some fun?”

Update: Caleb has given his first day mixed reviews. He said he didn’t have much fun, but he didn’t have to sit in the time-out chair like other kids did. When his teacher asked him how his first day of school made him feel, his one word answer was “nervous.” That’s pretty much the way I felt on my first day of school too.