It’s been a couple of months since I released When To Leave: How To Know It’s Time To Move On (Before You Stay Way Too Long). Just as I did with my first book Before You Go, I’ve compiled a summary of what others have said about When To Leave after reading it.

I’ve received a handful of responses from those struggling through a possible transition. I’m glad I wrote this book and I’m honored that others in the midst of difficult situations are finding it to be helpful.

Here’s some of what they’re saying:

“I just finished the book, and it has begun (or continued, rather) some ideas, healing, and understanding of the situation I’m in right now.  Just listening to your story helps me realize that others have been through similar junk before, and God will get us through it, most likely to bring us into a greater place of service to Him.”
—From a Reader’s Email

“Best things about the book: its simple structure, no nonsense directness, conversational style, regulated humor and practicality. This book is most excellent and will be helpful to many for years to come.”
—From a Reader’s Email

“Your writing is really straight forward without imposing guilt and shame. I never once flinched or felt like you were picking on preachers, or ridiculing, or belittling foolish decisions. I don’t know if I would have listened…but I wish I’d read it straight out of college!”
—From a Reader’s Email

“Just want to thank you for your book. It is a gift to me. It sheds a lot of light on my situation. Right before you have to leave you feel very lonely. You feel as if no one else can identify with you. This book came my way at such a time. Thank you so much for being a friend and someone who could identify with me at this awkward time in my life.”
—From a Reader’s Email

“I just finished it in one sitting. Literally couldn’t stop myself. I laughed (guffawed, really), cried, and definitely felt like he’d somehow been reading my mail. My wife and I are right in the thick of a potential transition and I found his work immensely helpful in determining our family’s next steps. Thanks a million, Wade!”
—David on Amazon

“As a ‘Veteran’ of full-time ministry for the past 28 years, I found your book to be pleasantly insightful, passionately inspiring, and personally challenging!!! There are two things that I plan to do with regard to this book: 1) HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT to as many people as I possibly can, especially those in ministry; and, 2) re-read this book on a regular basis (probably on an annual basis) to keep me grounded and honest with myself and my ministry!!!”
—Roger on Amazon

“This would have possibly saved me a lot of heart ache at my first vocational ministry. There is a great tension that lies between leaving to early and leaving long after you should have left. Wade delivers quick insight to help anyone navigate their current ministry and learn from a seasoned minister about the bumps in the road. I would highly recommend all college students read this before accepting their first ministry job and then current ministers should read to take a current inventory of their job status.”
—Lantz on Amazon

“From When to Leave, Wade issues humorous declarations shuffled alongside sobering ponderizations. One thing about Wade Hodges that has remained true from the get-go; regardless of personal injury and pain, he never quits imagining what God might do to guide us to our best. I like that about my friend.”
—Terry Rush on his blog

“Wade Hodges new book is probably one of the most quietly significant books that I have read in quite some time. This book is going to go into my rotation of books that I need to give to people.  This short book is an excellent framework from which to start wrestling through whether it is time for you to move on or not.  Reading the book with an open mind will give you a series of questions that every pastor should be asking himself (and those he trusts) on a regular basis… and probably should read before starting at a new church.”
—Matt Steen on his blog

“If you are a minister and you are considering leaving your current church (either by testing the waters with a few carefully submitted resumes or by responding to a few recent nibbles on your line), you ought to give Hodges’ book a read. It’s quick. It flows. It’s cheap (Amazon Prime members can download it for free, it’s $4.99 for the rest of you). And, most importantly, it’s honest. It’s full of the kind of wisdom you’d like to think you have swimming around somewhere down in your own gut, but even if it’s there, it’s more likely to surface if you let a book like this dredge it up.”
—Shane Alexander on his blog

You can download When To Leave here and Before You Go here or get a combined copy of both books here.

At the end of this excerpt from my latest ebook, When To Leave, I make an absurd proposal that I wish more pastors (and their churches) would take seriously.

******

What Does Your Discernment Community Say?

“If you’re dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you’re smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you.”
—Aaron Sorkin

What comes next is idealistic, unrealistic, naive, crazy talk. You probably won’t have the guts to implement what I’m about to describe.

Tragic.

But I understand why you won’t.

It could get you fired.

One autumn evening I called a meeting with the elders. I also invited our associate minister who was a trusted friend. We met at the home of one of the elders and sat in a circle on the back porch.

I spent the first few minutes summarizing the major events of my ministry there and being honest about my frustrations. I told them I was seriously considering other ministry opportunities.

Then I asked them, “Do you guys think it’s time for me to move on to something else?”

This is a dangerous question to ask an elder board. We’ve all heard the horror stories.

A pastor entertains a conversation with another church about an open position. Somehow the elders hear that he is visiting with another church and they call an emergency meeting to fire him. Sad and pathetic, but all too common.

You may be at a church where if you even hinted to your elders that you were thinking about leaving they would expedite the process for you, but that wasn’t my situation.

When I asked my elders if they thought it was time for me to leave, I wasn’t worried about being fired on the spot. I didn’t call the meeting to warn them or negotiate for a raise. I wanted them to help me discern what God might be wanting for me and my family. I valued their input and needed their wisdom. I trusted them to tell me the truth. I didn’t trust myself to make such an important decision in isolation.

I’ve never been involved in a discernment conversation that was crisp, clean, and certain. Most are a messy mix of meandering questions, crooked trails, and loose ends. This meeting was no different. After I posed the question, we went around the circle and everyone asked me a few questions and gave their opinions. We talked the sun down behind the horizon and kept the palaver going until the evening chill forced us inside.

I can’t remember everything that was said, but I remember leaving the meeting knowing that it was time to move on. Not so much because the group told me it was time to go, but because no one had said I definitely needed to stay. The questions they asked and the way they asked them helped me see that I had stayed too long.

I chose to include my elders and a co-worker in the discernment process. That made sense for me. We trusted each other. That may not be the right move for you. I would, however, encourage you to invite a small group of trusted people to join you in discerning what to do. Don’t ask them to make the decision for you. Let them ask you tough questions and do your best to give them honest answers. Ask their opinion about what they see and listen to what they have to say.

Also, pay close attention to what they choose not to say. They can help you make sure you’re not taking the easy way out or getting ready to run at the first sign of trouble.

Here’s a proposal: I’d like to see more pastors include their elder board in the discernment process when they’re interviewing with another church. (Cue gasp!)
Wouldn’t it be great if every ministry transition were governed by what is best for the Kingdom instead of by a spirit of competition or selfishness from church leaders who don’t want to lose their pastor to another church?

Super-duper crazy talk alert: What if, when a pastor was considering moving to a new church, he invited leaders from both churches to interact with each other as a way of discerning where God wants him to serve for the next few years? This seems so much better than clandestine conversations with search teams at out of the way Mexican restaurants. What an amazing vision it would require for the leadership teams of two churches to come together and discern which church the pastor should serve for the good of the Kingdom.

Okay, enough unreasonable craziness.

Do yourself a huge favor and include a group of people you trust in the discernment process. If you pick the right people, people who love you and want what is best for you, even if it isn’t what’s best for them, you’ll improve your chances of making a good decision.

What you think about my absurd proposal?

You can read more from When To Leave by downloading the Kindle version from Amazon.

Don’t have a Kindle reader?

Not a problem. It can be read on any device (Macs, PCs, iPads, iPhones, Android devices and Blackberries) with the Kindle reader app. (Available here)